TIPS & SIGNS THAT YOUR BOYFRIEND WILL DUMP YOU

When a relationship ends, we tend to wonder where it went wrong. Were there any warning signs that he lost interest? YES. But you were so wrapped up in the relationship or with other things that you didn’t even see it coming. Here are eight warning signs he is no longer interested... or maybe these are how you are acting. Either way it is time to take a closer look at your relationship and decide whether you want it or not.

Warning Sign #1: He hasn’t called you for a few days
This isn't necessarily a sign that it is over, but if you are use to him calling frequently then there is something wrong.

Warning Sign #2: Picking fights
Does he fly off the handle more than usual? Is he causing arguments over stupid little things? This is often a bad case when people are no longer interested in a relationship but they don’t want to be the one to end it. Don’t beat about the bush. Ask him out right if he is no longer interested in the relationship.

Warning Sign #3: He's being secretive
He no longer wants to tell you where he has been or who was on the phone. Maybe the phone is off limits to you. He disappears for hours without an explanation.

Warning Sign #4: He no longer refers to "we" but "I"
You use to sit and plan your future together. "We are going to do this, we are going to do that". Now it is "I am going to do this". You are no longer included in his future.

Warning Sign #5: He’d rather spend time with his friends than you
You have to fight with his friends for his attention. Before you were most important in his life. Now his friends are more important than you.

Warning Sign #6: You no longer talk
Once upon a time you would sit and have discussions about everything from the weather to what is happening to the ozone. Now he just answers everything with a "yes". You no longer have deep discussions.

Warning Sign #7: Friends start asking what's wrong
Friends begin to notice tension or distance between you. They start asking if everything Is "all right".

Warning Sign #8: He's more critical of you
"That’s a horrible dress," he says. Yet he helped you pick it out only a few weeks ago.

Remember that these are only warning signs and, in fact, your relationship may just be going through a rough patch. Talk to each other first before you do anything you may regret.

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COMMUNICATION - CONVERSATION LINES FOR A FIRST DATE

There is nothing worse, when meeting someone for the first time, than that awkward silence after the initial greeting. Kick the silence into orbit with these conversation starters:

* How was your day?

* You look really nice, where did you get (item in question)?

* How was work?

* Have you seen any movies recently? How did you like it/them?

* What kind of music do you listen to?

* What sports do you play or like? How long have you played for?

* What interesting things did you do this weekend (week)?

* Have you ever been to (a local restaurant)?

* What kind of foods do you like?

* Where are you from?

* Where did you go to school/college?

* Have you read any good books lately? Was it interesting?

* What do you normally do for fun?

* Do you like (an interest of yours)?

* What's the neatest place you've traveled to?

* What's one place you haven't traveled to yet that you really want to go?

These simple ideas will get the conversation flowing and you will find out what the other is interested in. Be sure to listen carefully to what the other person says so that you can ask follow-up questions while learning new things.

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LIST OF ONLINE DATING TIPS

There’s a nervousness, thrill, and excitement that occurs when meeting a person for the first time face to face. Yet amongst the thrill, remember to always be on your guard when going out on a date with someone you barely know.

Here are 12 tips on dating safety to help you get started:

1. Arrange to meet him. Don’t let him pick you up from your home.

2. Meet in public places. If possible, double date or go out with a group of people.

3. Go Dutch by paying half of the bill. That way you won’t feel under any obligation to return the favor.

4. Remember that alcohol affects your judgment and lessens your inhibitions. If you are drinking, keep your drink in sight at all times and don’t get so drunk that you don’t know what you are doing.

5. Use your own mode of transportation. And leave with a full tank.

6. Don't assume that a man is safe just because he claims to be religious.

7. Don’t let him know where you live. If you want to see him again, arrange a second date and then take it from there.

8. Avoid secluded areas such as parks.

9. Listen to your gut. If something doesn't feel right, it probably isn't. And if you haven’t met him before, and you know at the beginning of the date that something doesn’t feel right, then leave immediately.

10. Always let someone else know where you're going and who you'll be with. You might even consider arranging a time to call and check in. Or you could arrange to meet up with friends later that night.

11. Give him your cell phone number instead of your home phone number.

12. Always remain alert. Even if you’re having a blast and the chemistry is great, it’s a good idea to remain alert the whole evening. Make sure you have a cell phone on you.

Dating safely is very important. In the initial stages of dating, you are still getting to know someone you know little about. By creating a safe environment to know the person, you’re creating a better situation for you.

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THE BEST WAYS TO CHASE A GOOD MAN AWAY - ( GOOD LOVER )

Explain the difference between princess, marquee and emerald cut diamonds -- and note your preference

Insist that he's not paying enough attention during the diamond-cut lesson and offer to go through it again

Call his home number from your cell phone at the dinner table so that he'll have a souvenir

Mention that your last breakup was especially painful when your ex started using the word "psychotic" to describe you

Doing your best Audrey Hepburn impression, ask him for a $50 for "the powder room" and call him a "super rat" if he won't cough up the dough

Wear a tiara

Tell him that you're really looking forward to marriage

Expand on this last point and include the part about being able to spend someone else's money -- finally!

Ask him who he would be if he could be "any rock star in the world"

Confess that in preparation for the date, you conducted a conference call with all of your friends in order to get enough fashion, etiquette, and giddiness-prevention advice to make it through the evening

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THE REASONS WHY YOU ARE STILL SINGLE AND LONELY

Tired of first dates that don't result in relationships? Sick of chasing after guys who clearly aren't ready to commit? If you've made an all-out effort to find your match with little success, maybe it's time to rethink your approach toward searching for true love. Here you'll find five common mistakes women make in the dating game. If one or two sound familiar, don't beat yourself up. Just recognize that you deserve better and commit to making a change for good.

1. If you think love will never find you, it won't. I receive many posts on the Dating from women whose romantic disappointments have left them convinced there is something inherently unlovable about them. They say things like: "Who would want me anyway? I'm sure I'm going to wind up alone."

Obviously these women are as worthy of love as you and I. (Yes, we're worthy!) But they've come down with something so awful it can keep them solo for years to come: self-fulfilling prophecy, or SFP. SFP isn't contagious but it will make potential dates run the opposite way. It's an insidious disease. Physically, it leaves the sufferer untouched. But the more one walks around saying, "I will never find love," the higher the odds that expectation will come true. Contrarily, the sunnier one's thoughts — "I'm such a cool, happy person that I'm bound to find love" — the sunnier the forecast for her romantic future.

If you're among those throwing one too many pity parties for herself, get busy: Start a journal. Each day write down something lovable about yourself. It will get easier with time. You can even consider calling or e-mailing a few close friends or relatives, so they can share reasons they think a man would be lucky to have you. Level with them about why you're making this request, and they'll probably be happy to help. Whenever a negative thought threatens to invade your mind, replace it with a positive one.

Uncover the other love mistakes that might be keeping you single right here:

2. Kick the bad-boy habit. News flash: Good guys have not gone the way of the 8-track. They exist in bulk. The trick is learning to both recognize and want a man of worth. "For years I was attracted to guys whose mission was to hurt me," says reformed bad-boy lover Adel Harris, a 32-year-old Chicago Web designer. "It would be obvious from the get-go. They'd never call when they said they would, were constantly caught in stupid lies, said they loved me, then ran around with other women. One even tried to seduce my best friend." During these years, Adel kept railing that her dates were the best of a bad lot: No man could be kind or faithful. Then she attended a cousin's wedding. "Naomi's bridegroom Rick was the sweetest man in the world. He obviously adored my cousin and lived to please her," says Adel. "Seeing the sweet, loving light in his eyes, I vowed that one day I'd meet a man who would look at me like I was a treasure."

Adel took a dating hiatus and did some much-needed thinking about the root of her obsession with bad boys. "My dad was a life-of-the-party type, but as a husband and father he was cold and uncaring," she admits. "He left for good when I was 10. After that, the few times I'd see him I'd practically do cartwheels to win his attention. When I was old enough to have a boyfriend, I began metaphorically dating my dad. Once I realized what I'd been doing, I started seeing the appeal of guys who weren't as flashy or unreliable, guys who were capable of caring."

Today Adel is engaged — to a Rick type. "I can't believe I wasted all that time on men who treated me like dirt," she says. "But it was worth it, I guess because it eventually taught me to truly appreciate a good man."

3. Repeat after me: Love is not a synonym for leash. When Gina Thomas, a 29-year-old Manhattan magazine art director, got engaged, it seemed like a dream come true. In her fantasies she and her fiancé Bill would do everything together. Bill had a different definition. "Once we moved in together I assumed Bill would cut out the biweekly poker games with the guys and the occasional nights out after work," says Gina. "Our jobs left us little free time as it was. We shouldn't have wasted it on other people."

Wanting your partner to be with you 24/7 is not realistic or fair, yet like Gina many women feel abandoned or unloved if their other half has needs (say, for male camaraderie or occasional solitude) that can't be fulfilled by the relationship.
Gina's insecurity and neediness led her to make Bill feel like he was under house arrest. And no matter how plush the jail, eventually a prisoner wants to be set free. The two split.

The happiest couples allow each other breathing room to grow. The more dynamic their lives apart (in terms of jobs, hobbies, friends), the more they'll have to share with each other when they get together.

4. Don't commit emotional infidelity. It is vital that your partner be someone you treat with courtesy and kindness. If you tell all of your favorite jokes and "bad day" stories to a friend or male coworker, what will you have left when you get home to your honey? It may sound crazy, but there is a premium on a person's time and energy — there is only so much of it to go around — and if you spend yours with someone else, you're potentially hurting your relationship. Even worse is betraying your partner's confidences with a male friend or coworker. Just ask Doreen Badenstadt, a 34-year-old chef from Santa Fe, New Mexico. "After six years of marriage my husband Ed and I started growing apart. Nothing drastic, but he was no longer the first person I'd tell when something good or bad happened," she says. "That honor belonged to my neighbor Don."

Doreen never slept with Don, but she did begin sharing intimacies, such as the fact that her husband wore a toupee, a fact Don joked about at a neighborhood barbecue. Ed was shocked and felt betrayed at hearing his business discussed over hot dogs and beer. He accused his wife of disloyalty, precipitating the biggest fight the pair had ever had. The couple patched things up, but Doreen was reminded the hard way that her marriage needed to be the number one relationship in her life.

5. You're wrong if you need to be right. When Anne Ryan, a 29-year-old from Chicago, met her boyfriend Sam, she was delighted that the two had so much in common. Both were lawyers and loved to tango, downhill ski and play chess. Both were also stubbornly full of pride. "Sam was perfect except for one horrible flaw," says Anne. "He always needed to be right — whether it was about which restaurant served better burgers or which of us had apologized first after our last fight. What I didn't realize until it was too late was that I was just as bad. I couldn't admit that I'd forgotten to give him an important phone message or that his desire to move to L.A. was something I should seriously consider. I wanted to stay in Chicago and that was all that mattered. It was my way or the highway."

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SIGNS OF A BAD DATE

Dating is expensive. Its not just the money - its the time spent grooming and the investment of all that emotional energy in hoping he is great and wondering what will happen. And there is the opportunity cost! Time spent with one guy is time you can’t spend with someone better!

No, your time, money, and beauty products are too valuable to waste on a guy not worth the nail polish you removed in order to match your fingers to your toes.

It’s crucial to develop a sensitive radar that can detect the subtle red flag moments that tell you, This guy is not worth shaving my legs for. There are some of the obvious things - he lives with his parents when he’s over the age of 30, his socks don’t match, he talks about his ex all the time, he’s had no relationships that lasted longer than a year, he’s totally self-absorbed, etc. But there are some subtler cues I have learned to recognize over my years of dating fiascos that I will share with you. I hope my bad dates will help you avoid some of your own.

10. When you’re on a date, he talks trash about an ex. It doesn’t matter how much of a bitch she was, good men accept at least some responsibility for every break up and they speak respectfully about other people, no matter what. (Incidentally, check yourself for this one.)

9. He talks trash about his mom. A guy who doesn’t have some respect for his mom, even if she left him on a doorstep, won’t really respect for you. Bad date!

8. He moves in for the kiss way too soon. If he can’t tell that you’re not interested in all that yet, he will never be able to tell what you’re interested in.

7. He never moves in for the kiss. If you are ready, willing, and able, and he isn’t reading the signals, he’ll never be able to read the signals.

6. His place is a mess the first time you come over. You’d clean up your place before he came over - you had at least stuff all that random crap in the closet and jimmy the door shut. If he couldn’t put in the effort to clean up a little, what effort will he ever put in? <p>

5. He can’t cook. It’s a well known fact that men who cook are better in bed, they are more sensual, more responsive, more attentive, and know how to do one thing with their hands while they do something else with their mouths.

4. He has a habit or a personal style - for example, answering the question, How was your day? with a blow-by-blow description of everything he did every hour from the moment he woke up until the moment you asked him how his day was and you catch yourself thinking, But that can change. No it can’t. It won’t change on it’s own, he can’t change it, it won’t change. People don’t change, they just learn to deal with the problems they have.

3. He has no kids, no pets, no fish, not even any plants. If the only thing that lives in his place other than him is the mold in the back of his fridge, he’s a nonstarter. A guy who can’t even commit to keeping a spider plant alive does not have what it takes to keep a relationship alive.

2. He’s over 40 and he’s never been in a committed relationship. If he hasn’t done it by then, he never will. He’s had about 20 years to meet the right girl; by now, it’s not the girls. It’s him. It doesn’t matter how great you are, he’ll never commit because he just does not know how. So why should you?

1. He’s talking about a past relationship and you catch yourself thinking, As long as he does not do it to me He will do it to you. No matter how crazy he says the other girl was, no matter how much better you are being a loving, accepting girlfriend. He will. Can you cope with that? If not, ditch him now.

Good men are out there, ladies. I firmly believe that. Don’t let the nonsense of the unfit stand between you and a man who can stand on his own two feet, keep a plant alive, clean his apartment, and kiss you right when you want to be kissed!

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HOW KNOW IF YOUR LOVER IS CHEATING - CATCH A CHEATER

I think almost everybody could agree with me on this one: The only thing worse than finding out that your spouse is a cheater is not knowing. Not knowing if your partner is faithful can eat away at you and cause pain that can last months or even years. Betrayal is the worst form of disrespect and can leave wounds that won’t heal for a long time, if ever. Before we dive into sneaky ways that you can catch your partner red handed, lets first discuss why people cheat. I have often thought to myself, Why is it that animals are able to stay faithful to each other for a lifetime, while many humans can not seem to handle this task for more than a matter of months? The fact is that humans are the only creatures that realize they have a choice to how many partners they chose to have at a single moment in time. In addition, in recent studies, scientists have found that males with higher than average testosterone levels may be at greater risk of being involved in extramarital affairs than males with low testosterone levels. However, unlike animals, we have the ability to make decisions. We are able to override these hormones at any given time. Still, many chose not to. Testosterone or no testosterone, I still think cheating ultimately has to do with unhappiness. And, due to our ability to make decisions, those who chose to cheat go to great lengths to hide their affair. This is because they know what they are doing is wrong. This is why people who are cheaters are often hard to catch. So on that note, here are some potential signs that your partner may be cheating:

1. Change in Usual Work Pattern: Extended hours or possibly even over night shifts. This is the most popular excuse used by a cheating partner.

2. Phone Turned Off/Not Returning Calls: If you try to contact your partner during times that you are suspicious of them being unfaithful and they do not answer the phone or answer it but quickly find a reason to hang up with you, there’s a good chance that they are not being faithful.

3. Change in General Attitude: If your husband/wife suddenly makes it apparent that they are bored around you, or maybe seem overly excited on particular days, this could be a sign that they are having a relationship with somebody else. Sometimes a cheating mate may even become very angry or not want to handle simple arguments.

4. Lack of Money: Generally speaking, a deceptive partner will be spending time, as well as money, on their new date. The amount spent may greatly affect their usual income, depending on how much they are looking to impress their new partner.

5. Change in Attire: The sudden urge to dress attractively or get a new hairstyle, shave often, etc may be due to the fact that your partner is looking to appear more attractive to another individual.

6. Change in Relationship: If your partner suddenly stops confiding in you or seeking your advice this may be due to them finding it elsewhere.

7. New Hobbies: A cheating spouse may take interest in new things that don’t add up - such as new music, a new sport, etc.

8. Secretive Conversations: Does your partner run out of the room when he/she answers the phone to handle business? Or do they speak in a very low tone?

9. Deleted E-mails / Odd Computer Habits: If your husband/wife is startled by your presence when they are online or if they are constantly cleaning out their mailbox, there could be a reason for it. It is not normal behavior for a spouse to quickly exit off of a screen when someone enters the room unless they are planning a surprise vacation or doing something they know is wrong.

With that being said, here are some ways to catch a cheating partner :

1. Show up at your Spouses Work - Pick one of those days when they are working late and surprise them with a hot meal or desert. Make sure you have a reason for going up to their job so you don’t look too suspicious.

2. Check Mileage on their Car - This is a surefire way to see if your partner has been where they claim to have been. However, take into account if they needed to go to the bank or any other locations. A few extra miles here or there do not constitute as being disloyal.

3. Record Keep - Record dates and times of suspicious phone calls. If your mate is cheating you should be able to draw a conclusion that relates these times to other incidents. For example, if someone calls and hangs up on Wednesday evenings, followed by your partner getting called into work, this could be a tip for you to log.

4. Keep Quiet - Don’t open your mouth until you have the evidence you need for conviction. Telling your partner you think they may be seeing someone else will only complicate the patter because you have opened their eyes to the fact that they are not as sneaky as they would like to be.

5. Check Receipts - If you are able, check receipts found in pockets, the car, drawers, etc. If your partner is going out they are bound to eventually slip up and leave valuable evidence somewhere. Bank records of money withdrawals or credit card bills are also good ones. If looking at a credit card bill, pay close attention to detail, like where they are purchasing gasoline. Is it near your home? Or is it in a city that doesn’t fit into their usual travels?

6. Spy - If you are able to do your own surveillance or have a friend help you, do it. Watch what your partner is doing when they say they are working, etc.

7. Computer Research - Read e-mails, check cookies, etc. See what your partner is doing when they are online. Over half of cheating partners use the internet as a form of communication because it is easy and confidential. If you check your partners cookies you will be able to see what sites they are visiting. This can be very valuable, for example, if your partner’s e-mail address is mike@hotmail.com and the cookies say that they are constantly logging into a Yahoo account.

Have you tried all of the previous mentioned steps and still feel as if you are being betrayed? If so then you may have to go to extremes: Lie Detector Test, GPS Tracking or hire a Private Investigator. But before making the decision to do any of these things, take into consideration that they are very costly. You need to weigh your relationship and determine if it is worth the money. Remember that if you are at the point where you are 100% convinced your spouse is a cheater, you do not need to waste the money, you all ready know the answer. If you know they are a cheater, having a Private Investigator follow them around for weeks is not going to make a difference. Only you know your thoughts. Before making any decision you need to be prepared to accept the results. Will having your mate pass a lie detector test really make a difference? What if they pass with flying colors? Will you suddenly trust them? What if the work hours keep getting later and later and things still don’t add up? What then? Be honest with yourself and your feelings up front.

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